The Dreaded Double Jaw Surgery

So I'm always struggling to figure out what I should actually post here. I was a chronic Facebook oversharer for awhile and in my struggle to overcome my addiction decided 'nah, nobody needs to know shit.' Some stuff I read online said I should try to start a blog for my book and I went: okay, yeah! But there were only so many posts of that before I can't post anymore since, like, I shouldn't put the whole thing I'm working on online for free and whatever. I had one of my paintings stolen once and I ain't about that shit no more.
Anyways, I just went through double jaw surgery (orthognathic surgery) and am about five weeks post-op and figured I should write something about my experience because maybe it'll help people or something. (God knows I was freaking out beforehand and mined the internet's trove of information for help.) I probably should've started this, like, four weeks ago but I was lazy and the TV was there, so things happen.

At any rate, I figured I'd share some things about my experience and can talk about it more if anyone's interested. Just let me know if you have more questions or something. I'll post my pictures separately, though I haven't taken a really recent one because my swelling stopped two weeks ago and I am generally camera shy. I'll get to it. I kind of wish I had better before pictures but hey. I only get that girl instinct to selfie every couple of months and then I just leave them all on my camera because my instincts embarrass me.

I'm getting off track.

Okay . . .
1. Pain
So, I personally didn't find the pain too unbearable because hydrocodone just became my best friend (I wish we could go on more dates, hydrocodone, but my mom was definitely silently judging me so I had to leave you after my second refill. I will always remember you, though you tasted terrible so I probably will stay away from you in the future.) I generally tend to have a high pain tolerance, though, so it might be different for other people (after all, we all experience pain differently!) I read before that it's not supposed to be too painful because the nerves won't grow back for awhile and you'll be numb, but my nerves grew back really quickly and by the second week I'd basically gotten all my feeling back except for my palate and my top, front gums (which are still numb.)
I do have to tell, you, though, that your jaw WILL cramp and spasm before you get your wires off and it will be uncomfortable. My mom freaked out about it but my surgeon told me that it's not a big deal. I ended up with some give in my wires (which actually helped my muscles a lot) but my result has been fine. Just make sure it's not too much give it you have some! You shouldn't be able to move side-to-side and should talk to your surgeon if you can.

2. Swelling
So, I was able to combat swelling really well. I hated how it made my face feel like a mask, so I just slept in a reclining chair and kept ice packs on my face until I started to look normal again (which was about two weeks.) My surgeon said she was impressed with how little swelling I actually had, which was great because she also told me that some people she sees at unwiring are, like, shiny and bulbous. If you want to stop your swelling as soon as possible, you should avoid sleeping laying down. When I tried to sleep lying down again my swelling started to go back up, so a nice chair or sofa where you can sit but still be comfortable is best. You will still swell, but you'll have an almost normal face much sooner. I also drank a ton of water, which might've helped.

3. Diet and Syringes
So I know that they tell you to eat a LOT but I had a real hard time eating. If you want to lose some weight (be honest, it's basically the only reason you're excited to go through this. At least if you're a girl.) then you should just assume you won't lose as much as you want. I know you should be eating the right amount of calories but it was a struggle for me to eat at all toward the end. Part of this was because of the worst part for me - taking all my pills in liquid or crushed form. I generally take two pills a day already but I also had an infection in my toe at the same time I was recovering and when I went in I got prescribed antibiotics. Most pills are NOT meant to be consumed in crushed form so their insides taste TERRIBLE. I started getting really nauseous from the taste of the antibiotics and had to stop taking them (luckily I didn't puke when I had my wires in, but a lot of the time I felt close to it.) Unfortunately, the liquids don't taste very good, either. Like . . . I know they're trying to get a balance between it tasting okay enough to consume vs. too good and potentially making you actually want to ingest these drugs but damn. Hydrocodone is alright when you can just drink it really fast, but when you have to use a syringe . . . urgh. The Ibuprofen was alright, but I was on megadoses of it when I was 17 and 18 due to a concussion and my stomach has had a really hard time dealing with Ibuprofen since. I tend to avoid it unless I have a really bad hangover.
You may be able to use sippy cups but I couldn't for whatever reason. I ended up using syringes for everything. If you don't have a lot of space in your mouth for food to enter, you should try to stick to liquids. I know, I know, it SUCKS after awhile, but if you try anything chunky it'll just get stuck in between your teeth and you'll have to spend awhile using your syringes to clear out food debris. You won't be able to get some of the stuff in the back with a toothbrush, so use your syringes to help. When you have a funky taste in your mouth, it's probably food that's getting a liiiiiittle past its nice point and all you have to do is use your syringes to flush out the particles. If you've had your wisdom teeth taken out it's a similar process to when you clean the holes. Knowing how to do that helped me a lot because I was already nauseous when my mouth started tasting bad (I know this is kinda gross, sorry.)
I also got oral thrush afterwards because I had to go back on antibiotics (different ones that didn't taste anywhere near as bad) to get the infection in my toe fixed and the pills and the mouthwash both messed up the bacteria balance in my mouth. You should talk to your surgeon about it if it happens to you, but it's important to try to restore the balance naturally by eating yogurt and taking probiotics. Holding yogurt in my mouth seemed to help. They can give you sprays if it gets too bad, but if you can get the balance to start restoring itself then the thrush starts to retreat within a few days. Gross, right? Anyways.

4. Exercise
So . . . I probably didn't walk around as much as I should've because I just wanted to embrace my laziness, but when I did it was great. Now I've sat too much and have started to jog and lift again, but you should be very wary as you transition back to your normal routine. Don't try to go too fast! I only just could start jogging this week because before my face would start to throb. Walk. Just walk. You'll probably be pretty weak, anyways. I was doing all my exercises with ten pound weights before and had to scale back to threes, but now that I'm back to tens it feels like a lot of weight (yeah, I know, if you're into weight lifting then none of that may sound like much but shut up.) You'll have restrictions on how much you can lift. Just be aware that you'll have to build your muscle mass back up. You probably won't be in any shape to exercise the way you usually do.

5. Jaw Movement/Healing
The creepiest part of all this was feeling the bones move. One side of my face the bone would move when I swallowed so that it felt like something was hanging in the back of my throat - which made me have to swallow more. If you have that problem just press against the outside of your jaw while you swallow and it'll balance out. Apparently the first few weeks are a prime time to get orthodontic work done because the jaws are still not completely healed and can move around so your orthodontist might get fancy with bands and stuff. I went across the country to get my surgery done (since it was free on my mom's plan and I live on the other side of America, now) so my orthodontist has yet to actually see the results besides pictures and x-rays and I've been seeing my old orthodontist here. Hopefully they're happy. I know they wanted to widen my top jaw because it was too narrow and I don't think that's the case, anymore. The sooner I can get these stupid braces off, the better.

6. Drinking
I might slightly be an alcoholic but I'm also 23 so screw your judgments. I do what I want.
I stopped drinking a week before the surgery (they didn't tell me to but a friend recommended it who's all smart and stuff, so I did it) and didn't really feel like touching alcohol until I got my wires off. I want to clear out my system a bit, but I had a few drinks while my boyfriend was here last week and nothing terrible happened. My tolerance has definitely taken a hit but, hey. If you haven't figured out how to conduct yourself around alcohol before your surgery you probably shouldn't be drinking until well after it. Some people may be like 'no liquor, you're healing!' but it's really up to your discretion. You obviously shouldn't mix painkillers and alcohol, but I was fine drinking a bit last week. If you're having a hard time healing you should avoid anything that'll make things worse, but if you're doing okay . . . screw it. Have some fun. You've been through an ordeal.

That's basically all I can think of right now. As I said before, I'm in my fifth week and everything finally feels solid and settled again. Most of the jaw movement stopped the middle of last week and I can now eat most things - though not all. I have to cut up some stuff, still, and my jaw will get tired while eating some stuff. At least it means I eat less! Now I can lose those last ten pounds that've been dogging me since my senior year in college. Screw them.
At any rate, if you're reading this and have this surgery I hope it goes well for you and that this has been helpful! I'll post some pictures soon.

Chapter 10 of The Other Breed: Escape

This will likely be the last chapter I post, though I will probably do some readings or something for an audio format. I'm hoping that someone will want to pick up my book for publishing, but I still have some work to do first. Thank you for your attention! =) I hope you enjoyed reading!

It’s late the next day. Alyssa’s out on the porch, upset that she still can’t get any answers, while Hombre and Beth sit and stare at the screen on the wall. Having just walked out of the bedroom, I sit in the empty spot next to Beth. I’m not sure why, but I haven’t told them about the metal object – which I now know is a smooth, rectangular box with a divot on one end. That man I ran into had said to get rid of it, but it’s piqued my interest. I feel the edges, worrying them in a similar way to how I twist my bracelet, which I’ve placed back on my wrist out of habit.

“What is that?” Beth asks, frowning.

I quickly close my hand around the box, “Nothing.” I search for a change in topic, and address Hombre, “Where did you get that car if you’re not from our world? I mean, did you bring it with you or something?”

He blinks, looks over at me, “What?” Then he shakes his head, finally registering the question. He answers, “When I spoke to the spirits, an old widow told me I could go to her house and take whatever I wanted. She’d just died but didn’t have anyone left to give her things to.” He looks away, “She told me to avoid her bedroom, which was probably a good call. She’d started to smell.”

Beth and I stare at him. I clear my throat, “That was a dead lady’s car?”

He looks at me for a moment like he doesn’t understand why it would bother me and then grins, “Oh, are you scared of ghosts or something?”

I stare at him, not sure how to respond and stutter, “Well . . . that’s – that’s not quite – ”

Beth puts a hand to her mouth, “Oh God, what do we do when we get back? We can’t drive around in that car. It’s stolen. We’re going to have to dump it somewhere, like we’re in the Mafia.”

Hombre frowns, “I didn’t steal it.”

I shake my head, “The police aren’t going to see it that way.”

There’s a knock on the door, quick and sharp, and before any of us can even make a move Ki’s opened it and is stepping into the apartment. His demeanor is calm, controlled, but he wears a uniform similar to the one his guards wear instead of his usual jacket.

Hombre grimaces at the sight of him, but Beth smiles hesitantly as he strides into the room. I’m surprised by how bashful she seems to be around him, especially as I don’t think I’ve ever seen Beth really be ‘shy.’ Alyssa, having heard the door open, steps in from the porch and considers Ki, a concerned frown on her face.

I look at him, too, only to realize that his eyes are on my wrist. I glance down to see that my bracelet is there and bite my lip. Right. I’m wearing it. I forgot I’d put it back on.

Ki says, simply, “You weren’t wearing that before.”

I see Hombre’s head turn toward me and he lets out a groan as he sees the bracelet, “Carmen . . .”

I hesitate. Hombre had me hide it before, but maybe Ki can tell me something about it. I look him dead in the eye and ask, “What is it? What does it do?” Beth shifts, and Alyssa looks at Ki expectantly.

He raises an eyebrow, glancing at Hombre, and says, “It . . . makes things easier for us and harder for Iifa.”

I press, “Okay, fine. But you know what it is, right? You know it’s an artifact. What does it do? Why is it special?”

Ki’s eyes roam over me and I feel exposed, almost as if I’m naked in front of him. He’s looked at me before, but never really with this level of intensity or curiosity, as if I’m some puzzle for him to work out. The combination of his gaze and that strange magnetic appeal of his makes my cheeks feel hot. He shakes his head and says, “Unfortunately, there isn’t time for this discussion. I came because Iifa’s attack on us has begun.”

We stare at him and Hombre’s voice is a bit hoarse as he asks, “What?”

Alyssa narrows her eyes, “What happened? Why now?”

Ki kneads his brow, “I’ll make this quick. As I’m sure Ibei explained, most of the Iida live and work below us. Apparently, Iifa still has sympathizers within their ranks, because she managed to move through the geothermal vents and seize control of the lower levels in about a half an hour, without raising an alarm. A few minutes ago she began an assault on the middle levels and her Shadow Guard, comprised of her best soldiers, has now separated itself from the main body and is making a dash up the walls toward us.” Alyssa’s eyes go wide and she moves to the porch, leaning over the railing to look for some sign of this. Ki inhales, and his eyes rest on me again, “I had come to a decision before, but, now that I know you have one of the artifacts, it’s even clearer to me. We must get to the portal and try to get ahead of her plans. As I can’t spare soldiers, I will accompany you myself. We should leave immediately.”

We stare at him for a moment and then Beth stands, looking like she doesn’t want to believe what he said, and hurries toward the porch, opening the door while asking, “Alyssa, do you see anything?”

Hombre narrows his eyes as he addresses Ki, “Aren’t your people about to get killed? Why are you so calm?”

Ki frowns, “I am a soldier. I must be calm in war.”

Hombre snorts, “Right.”

Ki stares at him, “We are evacuating as many as we can through the tunnels. It serves me no purpose to grieve those we have lost or are sure to.”

Hombre stands up and then extends his hand toward me, turning so that his eyes, which swirl with scarlet, are hidden from Ki. “Let’s help Beth,” he says. “Knowing Alyssa, there might be trouble.”

I frown but let him pull me up. I expect him to let go but he doesn’t, leading me to the porch. I feel strange, suddenly. The last time we held hands was while we were going through the portal, and we hadn’t really ever touched before that. His hand still has that reassuring warmth, his grip strong but gentle. His palms are calloused, something I hadn’t even registered before, and now I wonder what made them so.

As we draw near the door, he whispers, “Something about him is off, Carmen. I don’t like the way he was looking at you. Promise me you’ll be careful around him.”

“Okay,” I say, easily, as I take in the pressure of his fingers on my skin, surprised that I don’t want to recoil. I blink and then frown, looking up at the relieved smile that now stretches across his face. “Wait, why are you saying this now?”

He stops. We’re just outside the door to the porch. His voice is low as he responds, his brow furrowing, “You aren’t that calm when you’re about to lose everything.”

I try to restrain myself from looking back at Ki. I suppose Darien’s right, but, “He said he’s a soldier. I mean, maybe it hasn’t hit him yet? Or he has to put on a certain face?”

Hombre shakes his head, “Just be careful.” He opens the door to the porch and asks, “Are you two coming?”

Beth nods.

“Yes,” Alyssa says as she pushes away from the railing and then steps back through the door, looking both a bit worried and skeptical as she adds, “I can’t see her.”

“Good. If you saw her we’d be in peril,” Ki responds. He gestures for us to follow, “Come.”

While no one’s looking, I stuff the tiny box into my pocket and then hurry forward.

As we exit the room all six of the guards move in next to us, their presence now more reassuring than annoying. We hurry down a set of stairs to the lobby, but when we reach the bottom Ki stops abruptly. Hombre grabs my arm before I step on Ki’s heels. Though he releases me quickly, for some reason I’m still focused on his hand and its grip. I shake my head. Stop being a weirdo, Carmen.

Ki’s looking at the little dining area, his brows drawn together. None of the people seem to even notice us, chatting casually in their extravagant, costume-like clothes. There aren’t as many full tables as yesterday and I wonder if that’s because of the time or if some, like Ibei suggested yesterday, have already left the city.

Ki turns to one of the guards and says, “I want all of you to assist in the evacuation of this area immediately and then you will report to your posts for battle.”

The guards nod and step into action, two of them heading for the dining area, another the front desk, and the others to knock on doors.

“You’re getting rid of all of the guards?” Beth asks, nervous.

Alyssa chokes out, “Are you crazy? We need their protection!”

Ki looks at us, “Move fast enough and we won’t have to worry.”

He turns and motions for us to keep going. We hurry through the doors to the elevators, and I turn back briefly to see a waiter drop his tray as everyone begins to rise, forgetting about whatever they were going to eat.

Ki bypasses the elevators and opens a door to their left side, saying, “I’m worried about the integrity of the lifts, so we’ll be taking the stairs.”

Beth groans. I want to echo her sentiment.

Hombre frowns, though, “What do you mean? Would Iifa use the lifts?” I notice that he’s said ‘lifts’ instead of ‘elevators.’ Somehow, it makes the idea that he’s from another world seem more realistic. Has he been adopting vocabulary the whole time I’ve known him?

Ki responds to Hombre’s questions as we file into the stairwell, “Yes, that is certainly a possibility. As a preventative measure, my soldiers in the control room have shut them down for now, as well as some of the trains.”

“How long do we have until she reaches us?” I ask as we begin to ascend the stairs, our pace close to a sprint. My body is already starting to protest, sore from walking yesterday and running the day before.

“I’m not sure.” Ki shakes his head, “but not as long as we would wish.”

He takes the stairs almost two at a time, as if it shouldn’t even be an issue, and Alyssa and Hombre aren’t far behind him. Once again I hate myself for being so out of shape. Iifa is climbing up the walls to get us and I’m struggling with stairs. At least I’m not the only one, since Beth is using the railing to drag herself up, only a few steps in front of me. I try to distract myself from the aching complaints of my muscles by staring through the windows that line the stairwell, focusing on the chaos that consumes the city outside.

Swarms of people flock out of the buildings and onto the pathways, heading to tunnels marked by electronic signs that had contained advertisements earlier. Though the screens that reveal evacuation points keep only that image, many of the others now flash with warnings and lists of meeting areas for groups. The ever-changing Espacorp building has replaced its usual vistas with important information and news, scrolling as updates roll in.

Suddenly, the lights in the stairwell flicker and then the whole city goes dark. Beth lets out a small gasp and I stop dead in my tracks. I hear the others’ footsteps pause, as well. Only the mirrors outside now provide some faint light, the sun just barely touching them, but they’re not much help in the dim stairwell. Just as I start to question whether I should just keep going, the lights finally flicker on again.

Ki’s voice interrupts the silence, “We get power from the geothermal vents below us, the same system Iifa used to get in. She must be attempting to take one of the main power routers now.” He urges us, “We must hurry.”

Our pace increases and now even Alyssa and Hombre begin to struggle. My feet feel heavy, as if they were made of lead, but I push myself to keep going.

Outside, the trains are running at full speed, the griding sound they make as they zip along the rails audible even through the thick walls and equally thick glass. Like Ki had told us, many of the ones that go up and down between levels are immobile. Though I desperately wish that I could be using one of them right now instead of climbing, at least Iifa can’t get an easy ride.

Below us, the stairwell echoes with fervent activity as others clamber through them, eager for escape. No one’s really up this far, despite the upper catwalks being so busy.

I look up to see that Ki’s standing on the last step, stopped. I swallow, almost relieved until I realize that I still have a ways to go until I reach him. I don’t dare to count the steps that remain, all too aware of his impatience and the limits of my body. He lifts a small object up to his ear from his shoulder, out of which comes the faint crackling of voices.

“Let’s go, Beth,” I wheeze to her.

She looks at me, her eyes glazed over with exhaustion, little tears at their edges. She sniffles as she tries to hold them back.

“You’re alright,” I tell her, “We’re almost there.” The words are just as much for me as they are for her. I’m desperate for relief and a chance to catch my breath.

“Please hurry,” Ki urges us. Alyssa and Hombre stand next to him now, panting, clearly glad for the small reprieve. Ki continues, “I just received word that Iifa and her Shadow Guard have pushed through the majority of the middle levels. We must reach the tower soon if we want to escape her.”

I don’t even have the energy to respond as I struggle up the last few steps behind Beth, but we finally reach the top. I gasp in air, my muscles screaming, but before we can even catch our breath Ki has started forward, swinging open the door.

A swell of noise overtakes us, shouts and blaring sirens providing a background tone. A few people stand in the elevator’s lobby. One of them is vaguely familiar, and I realize she’s the woman who’d been waiting in this same lobby two days ago, the one that had been holding all those bags. She stands in the corner, wringing her hands, now dressed in plainer, more functional, clothing. As we pass, a little boy runs up to her, a man following, and she lets out a cry of relief, sweeping the little boy up into a hug.

We leave the small lobby and emerge into the open air of the pit, our pace still quick despite my ragged breathing. All around us, people make their way to the walls, scurrying across the catwalks to reach the evacuation tunnels. It’s like watching ants dash back into an anthill to avoid the rain, only our rain is a swarm of black-armored soldiers coming up from below.

I shiver and hurry to follow Ki as he leads us toward the more crowded catwalks around the tower. As we get closer in, it gets harder to keep together. A group of tall men shoves their way through our line, cutting Beth and me off from the others.

Beth latches onto me. She asks, wide-eyed, “Do you see anyone?”

 I shake my head, dragging her with me, and for a moment it seems that we’ve been separated, but then I suddenly see Hombre. He’s stopped, peering into the crowd, and I see his tense expression relax as soon as his gaze lands on us. He immediately grabs my hand and leads us forward until, finally, we can see Ki and Alyssa ahead of us. Alyssa’s so close to Ki she might as well be his shadow. She smiles as she spots us.

Next to me Beth lets out a sob and I pull her in close. She wraps herself around me.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” I tell her, “We just have to keep going and we’ll be fine.”

Hombre hesitates.

“Just keep going,” I urge him, tightening my grip on his hand, and we begin to weave our way through the crowd again, pulling Beth along with us.

Though Ki is set on his goal, barely looking back, I catch Alyssa’s gaze and she mouths at me, “Is she okay?”

I nod, even though I’m pretty sure Beth is far from okay. She’s letting me pull her forward like a rag doll, sobbing in between gasps for air.

I say, “Beth, Beth, calm down, it’s alright. Just breathe. In . . . out . . . in . . . out.”

I breathe loudly for her to copy, and after a moment she starts to follow my instructions. I think part of me is glad she’s freaking out, because if she wasn’t, I would be. Though I’m putting on a brave face, I feel like I’m on the verge of breaking apart.

Hombre squeezes my hand, and I catch his eye. He looks concerned, so I give him a smile. He gives me one back, and then turns and keeps pulling us forward, forcing his way through the crowd so that we’re on Alyssa’s and Ki’s heels.

I keep chanting “In . . . out . . .” to Beth until she finally starts to breathe normally. Beth loosens her grip on me, pulling away some so that she can wipe her eyes.

As we reach the catwalks near the park, there’s a pause, all of a sudden, as if the city’s taking a breath. I glance around, confused, and then someone very close to us lets out a shrill screech, others quickly joining in to form a chorus of fear. Scared, I crane my neck, letting Hombre lead us forward as I try to find the source of the chaos.

I don’t have to look too hard, however. She’s easy to spot.

Iifa looks like a fireball on the back of her strange creature, whose white fur glows almost as brilliantly as she does. Together they move as one, impossibly fast as the creature flips and twists and scurries up the buildings on the wall, all while Iifa swipes at Ki’s soldiers with the long, curved, scarlet blades at her wrists. I’m not sure if the scarlet is blood or the actual color of the blade, but she reminds me of the Grim Reaper as she decapitates a man who lunges at her. Her black-armored soldiers are right behind her, slashing furiously with similar wrist blades, hurrying to keep up with her pace.

Ki’s soldiers seem to be almost dancing, moving along the walls with a confidence clearly borne out of familiarity, easily leaping rooftops or dropping from one path to another in order to meet Iifa and her guard. Some of Ki’s men have blades, but others have guns, attempting to line up shots while the dismin – if I’m remembering the name correctly – and their riders dodge them with deft movements.

Iifa and her Shadow Guard seem to be avoiding whatever fights they can, clearly focused on the charge toward the tower. One of Ki’s men jumps from the wall and lands on one of the dismin, fighting with its rider while the beast tries to throw him off. I almost cheer when the soldier sinks his sword into the creature’s neck and its head goes flying, but then I restrain myself, horrified. I wonder for a moment, as Ki’s soldier jumps and grabs onto a building, if fear has turned me into some kind of monster. The rider reaches unsuccessfully for the wall as his beast still flails underneath him. With a thunderous crash, he’s crushed underneath it as they land on the roof of an office building below.

The man right behind Iifa shouts out a rallying cry and then easily, almost hungrily, sinks his blades into a woman trying to run from him, clearly a civilian. A fresh wave of horror rushes through me as he pulls his blades out and she tumbles into the abyss. I’m almost sure I can hear him laugh. Even from here, I know that the rider has to be the one that was in the clearing, the one Iifa had called Chul. I feel Beth’s grip tighten on me as she lets out a panicked squeal.

“Keep breathing,” I urge her and begin my breathing chant again, though now it’s definitely more for me than for her.

One of Ki’s soldiers, this time a woman, leaps from above, seeing an opportunity with Chul’s back turned. But Chul moves as if he’s been anticipating the attack, his blades cutting into the soldier’s stomach while she’s still in the air, before her club can sink into his scarred face. Chul ducks and his mount twists out of the way so that the woman crashes onto a path below.

Another of Iifa’s riders falls due to a volley of shots to the back of his creature’s head. I keep repeating my chant of “in . . . out . . . in . . . out,” trying to waylay the panic building up inside me. The riders seem to not even care that they’ve lost people, a thick, black line of them rushing to fill in the spaces.

I look to see Iifa’s white mount accelerate, twisting around three of Ki’s men so that Iifa can slash at them, the creature dodging and moving with an intelligence more than that of a beast. A soldier swipes at her and one of her scarlet blades shatters so that the man stumbles and falls. The dismin snaps at him as the man rolls away, Iifa hacking at him with her other arm. Another soldier charges forward, eager for the advantage, but as he slashes at her torso a glittering red shield appears out of nowhere. The impact of his blade throws him off the path and into the pit and he screams, reaching desperately for a grip as he falls to his death. To my amazement, the blade reforms at Iifa’s wrist, as if its disappearance had just been a lure. As the two remaining soldiers hesitate, a fireball materializes in her hand and she hurls it at them, clearly eager to move up the wall again. As her dismin scurries away, the men run around screaming, trying to put out the flames.

My stomach drops and I forget about the ache in my sides and legs, instead tugging on Beth, forcing her to keep up. She doesn’t protest much, clearly just as affected by the gory scene on the wall as I am. I’m right behind Hombre as he now impatiently shoves people out of his way in order to keep up with Ki and Alyssa. Alyssa looks back at us and then reaches out and grabs Hombre’s hand, obviously intent on keeping us close despite her issues with him.

“Carmen,” Beth says, shakily, from behind me, “This might not be the right time, but just in case we die before we get in that tower, I need you to know that you’re my best friend.” She starts to sob again, “And – and it’s meant so much to me because my whole life no one’s really cared, but you’ve always been there for me, even when I’m stupid.”

I look back at her, my heart in my throat, and reassure her, “Well, you’re my friend. It’s alright Beth, we’ll be okay.”

She continues, and I’m not quite sure she’s heard me, “Listen, I know you have things you don’t want to talk about, but I need to know that you know that I’m there for you – no matter what, okay?”

I can’t help but tighten my grip, somehow terrified of the offer. I smile at her and tell her what she needs, “I know. I’ll go to you when I need to, I promise.”

She lets out another sob, but tries to pull herself together as she rushes to keep up with me. Ki’s soldiers have formed a hard perimeter on the catwalks which lead to the garden in front of the tower. Though some of the civilians stand before them and beg to be let through, they remain silent, unmoving.

They salute Ki as he points out the four of us and says, “They’re with me.”

The soldiers open their ranks a bit to let us through.

A woman holding a baby grabs onto Beth’s hand and hides her face from the guards. “Please, please, be quiet,” she begs us, wide-eyed, but before we can say anything the guards push her off us, so that she falls back into the crowd, shrieking in protest. A soldier grabs Beth and me and pulls us through, the hole they’ve made sealing shut behind us.

I can’t move for a moment as Beth and I stare at the crowd behind the soldiers. Beth lets out another sob and puts her hand up to her mouth. What happens to these people now that they can’t get to the wall and can’t get out of here? How many of them are going to die?

Hombre grabs Beth and me and says, “We have to go. She’s getting closer.”

I don’t need to look. Alyssa’s also stopped for us, concerned, but Ki’s started to jog. I shove down my horror and plow forward as Ki’s jog turns into a sprint and all of us fly after him, our feet smashing into the grating as our breath tears through our lungs. Ki reaches the courtyard and we’re on his heels, twisting through the maze of paths and greenery to reach the guards, who are crouched behind bushes and benches and ledges, aiming a variety of gun-like weapons at the wall. One of them fires at something behind us, and I hear a harsh bellow and an inhuman scream, which I hope is the sound of one of the riders being taken down.

We rush through the soldiers, who nod at Ki, not moving from their positions. I wish they could just pick me up and carry me, or that someone could tell me this was all going to be okay and then make it so. I can’t help but find myself thinking about the old fantasy of some Prince Charming appearing to save me from danger and pain: whisking me off my feet; slaying the dragon; delivering me home safe. But I know that’s not reality. Reality is this; panting, sweating through your clothes, parched, in pain, but ignoring it.

We reach the edge of the bridge and Ki stops, motioning for us to go forward as he yells, “Get into the tower!”

Hombre and Alyssa are already running across, so Beth and I stumble after them. Beth’s face is shiny again with tears, but she wipes them off, looking determined to make it through this final sprint. I turn from her, focusing on covering the last bit of distance between us and safety.

As we pass Ki, his eyes go wide and his hand flicks out. A blast of white light emits from his glove, pulverizing something inches from Beth’s head. Whatever it was, I can feel the heat of it flash over me as we stumble to a stop and Beth gasps, “What was that?”

A shot goes off and the chest of one of the soldiers behind us explodes. I hold back the urge to puke, my head swiveling towards Iifa’s forces, who are now on the roofs and sides of the catwalks, wielding guns.

“What are you doing? Move!” Ki shouts, pushing us toward the tower.

Beth takes off, and I forget the numbness in my legs and sprint after her. Behind us, both troops start to fire.

“Keep them back!” Ki yells.

I hear his boots begin to pound after us.

In front of me, Alyssa and Hombre are almost across when Alyssa suddenly collapses, letting out a small shriek as she grabs her leg. I scramble, trying to reach her.

“Alyssa!” Beth yells, clearly just as terrified as I am.

Luckily, Hombre’s already at her side, kneeling to hoist her tiny form up into his arms. Bullets whistle past both of them, roasting the air as he carries her toward the door, moving as quickly as he can. I hear a shot so close it must’ve come from Ki’s gun, and out of the corner of my eye I see one of the creatures fall, twisting, into the abyss below us. I keep running, fighting my body as it gasps for air and rest and water.

There’s a thud on the path next to me and I see a fist-sized ball on the ground, smoking.

I don’t know what that is. I don’t want to know. Instead, I force myself to move even faster. Everything begins to go numb, to feel dull. Just at the edge, when I’m barely able to hear the screams and gunfire because of the buzzing in my ears, the rough terrain of the catwalk finally turns into the smooth floor of the tower.

I collapse into the arms of waiting soldiers, desperately trying to refill my lungs. Two of them pull me up and begin to drag me back behind their line, out of the range of fire. Behind us the bridge and park have been completely obscured by the smoke that pours out of the little ball on the catwalk.

I can’t see anyone out there, except for one figure: Ki. Framed by the smoke, a gun in his hand, he looks like he’s in a scene out of a movie as he shoots into the fog, the cries that ring out advertising his successful aim.

I look around. Everyone else is through. Beth is lying on the floor and Alyssa is being placed gingerly against a wall, a bloody hole the size of a dime in her leg. Hombre’s leaning forward, catching his breath. Apparently satisfied, Ki finally dashes through the doors, yelling, “Close them!”

“Yes, Highest,” one of the guards says, anxious. “We’re trying. The switch isn’t working.” A few of the men are pulling at the massive things while a slim soldier desperately fiddles with the cables of a control panel next to them.

I’m certain I can see her through the smoke, white hot as she whirls her blades, heading toward the door . . . toward us.

The soldiers are tensing, readying themselves for the possibility of a fight. Those who were trying to pull the doors shut now back into the tower and raise their weapons, the man under the control panel still frantically scrabbling at it.

There’s a metallic ding outside, I think from the smoking ball, and then a cloud full of thousands of tiny, dagger-like needles are hurtling toward us, hissing through the air, almost –

A loud thud cuts them off as the door launches into place. Beth squeaks as we hear the needles hit the door like hail.

“That took you long enough,” Ki mutters.

“Sorry, Highest,” the soldier under the control panel says, sitting up and wiping sweat away.

I have to check myself to make sure I didn’t pee.

“Are the shields working?” Ki asks.

The soldier who fixed the door nods, “Yes, Highest.”

A small, sealed container is shoved into my hand. It takes me a minute before I realize that it’s water, but then I’m drinking like I was stuck in the Sahara. Once I’m done, I gasp out a: “Thanks.”

Though the woman who gave it to me is dressed like a soldier, she has pale blue stripes on her outfit. She begins to examine my arms and legs, so I guess she’s some kind of medic.

I swallow and look over to find Alyssa through the throng of soldiers. She’s not far from me, still propped up against the same wall. She’s pale, her leg bleeding heavily. There’s already a medic over her.

He turns to the guards, “I need someone to hold her down. We need to get this out. Now.” He looks at another medic, “Get a containment jar. Hurry!”

The other medic rushes away, the crowd clearing out before him.

Hombre narrows his eyes, “What’s going on?”

“And why do you have to hold me down?” Alyssa asks, her voice shaking as two guards come to her side and wrap their arms around her.

 Beth protests, “She doesn’t look good. You should at least – ”

“Quiet, please,” the medic orders, “Keep still the best you can, miss.”

“What are you doing?” Alyssa shrieks as he flicks out a tiny rod. He doesn’t answer, just shoves it into the wound. She lets out a scream.

Beth starts forward but a guard restrains her. I can feel my stomach roll, but the medic moves with such quick purpose that I get the feeling we shouldn’t stop him. There’re only a few moments before he pushes something out the other side of her leg. The other medic’s already at his side, opening a container into which the object is hurtled – just as it rips itself apart in a small explosion.

I swallow. Alyssa’s eyes are wide. She says in a faint, hoarse voice, “Th – thanks.” She collapses backwards and lets out a whimper.

The medic begins to stitch her up, though Alyssa looks so shocked that she barely registers it. Beth falls back onto the floor and Hombre lowers himself down, as well, staring at the container as it’s hurried away.

The medic examining me looks at my face and neck and then apparently decides I’m okay and walks over to Beth. As we sit and stare, Ki directs his troops, sending some of them up the stairs and placing others around the door.

I find my eyes drifting up to the ceiling, on which is a large panel, depicting the construction of the golden tower from the mural. There are small brushings of cobwebs in the corners. The words of the children’s song from yesterday rush through my head: The Spider, the Spider. Crouching unseen, he creeps and creeps – crawling up high to feel the breeze. He weaves his web and the Evenen sing: Spider, Spider! Give us what we need.

I twist the bracelet on my wrist to the Spider’s image. If it’s a god to them, maybe it can give me some strength. I take a shaky breath and watch as the medic finishes stitching up Alyssa’s leg and wraps a bandage around it.

Ki makes his way toward us and says, “We must descend.” He gestures toward a stairwell by the door.

Hombre glares at Ki, “You can’t give Alyssa another minute or two?”

Ki shakes his head, “Unfortunately, we need every moment we can get. The pills the medic gave her should help with the pain, but we don’t have time to spare.”

Beth and I don’t even need to look at each other. We hobble over to help Hombre, who’s lifting Ayssa up by her waist so that she can avoid putting weight on her leg.

As Hombre supports Alyssa, a peculiar smile spreads across her face. She says, “Now none of you can say I wouldn’t take a bullet for you.” She taps Hombre’s chest, “I don’t even like you.”

He looks at her, “You know, I could drop you.”

She starts to laugh, but she’s too loud, seeming almost desperate for something that can even slightly ease the tension. I look between Hombre and Beth and they meet my eyes, both of them looking uneasy.

“We should go,” Ki says, gesturing to the small, empty staircase on the other side of the room: dark and quiet and full of unknowns. There’s a thud on the other side of the door and then we’re all rushing down, deep down, into the depths of the gigantic tower.