My body is
melting, pooling away into a useless puddle while my mind stays trapped inside,
a captured bird unable to open its wings and soar. It’s strange. I never quite
thought of my body as a cage, but I never really appreciated being anchored to
it, and so I panic at the thought of the two separating. Dizziness threatens to
overtake me and the colors I saw swirling in the door now surround me, but
there’s no sound, no wind, no temperature. I’m lost, swirling down the drain.
I’m stupid, for trying to have faith. I’m being punished for what I didn’t
want.
Guilt tugs at me. If
I’m feeling so awful, what have I led my friends into? I can’t suck in deep
breaths or cry, so I close my eyes as I contemplate letting a silent scream
loose into the void. For a few moments, even, I almost wish this is death.
As if anticipating
my reaction, Hombre gives my hand a squeeze. Somehow, the small, simple
movement helps, grounding me back into my body and my reality. Though there’s
no air, I imagine taking deep breaths, and I stuff my concerns down into some
well of secret aches and try to calm myself. I give Hombre’s hand a squeeze
back. I suddenly feel that without his grip I’d be lost in a nightmare that
parades itself as a pleasant dream.
The colors that
surround me are pulling into shapes and forms, moving slickly in front of me as
they attempt to organize the picture. The greens and blues seem particularly
active as they try to find their place. As I begin to make sense of the
environment, a breeze meets my face, and I eagerly suck in big gasps of it.
Next to me, I hear Hombre doing the same. Other sounds begin to invade my ears,
sounds I would’ve barely registered if I hadn’t just travelled through absolute
silence: leaves rustling, insects chirping, the creaking of a tree.
The blotches in
front of me finally decide on their places, revealing themselves to be part of a
grass-filled clearing, bordered by trees which stretch towards a wide, low
wall. The wall, in turn, surrounds a huge, twisted, and very odd structure. It’s
as tall as a skyscraper and, though it twists upward elegantly and organically,
its strange and glistening materials make me suspect that it’s man-made. Its metallic
silver is only interrupted by the emerald and lemon-colored spheres which
cluster along it, the dull browns and greens in my periphery coming nowhere
near to their intensity. The spheres are quite sparse until the top of the building,
where they blossom out as if the towering structure is a tree in need of a
canopy. I stare at it, not sure whether to categorize it as beautiful or
bizarre. Maybe both. Whatever the case, it’s rather far from us, the wall
surrounding an area that’s at least as wide as Manhattan, though why a single
skyscraper would be in the center of it all I can’t tell you.
I tear my eyes
away from the strange building in front of us and glance around, only barely noticing
Hombre as I take in the trees which frame the clearing. The colors are different
here, the greens more of a teal, and the browns more blue, oddly off from what
would be normal back . . . well, in my world. Even the forest seems so alien, the
trees all leaning against each other instead of standing independently, their
branches twined together like a gigantic puzzle. Though it all seems designed
to block out the most sunlight possible, the forest has separated itself where
we stand in this little patch of grass. I frown, not sure what to make of it,
but I can see other isolated clearings beyond the tower, the trees adopting a
bowl shape in order to give these spaces sunlight. Their trunks all twist
tightly together underneath, making me wonder if we’re suspended in the same
way. I’m not sure if it’s in my head or not, but the ground we stand on doesn’t
feel as solid as the ground back on Earth.
I notice that I’m
chewing on my lip again and stop myself.
I turn to look
behind me, and, despite it being close enough to touch, the presence of the
huge stone surprises me. I blink, unsure how I’d missed it. The surface is very
flat and thin, to the point that it’s unnatural. I can only find one scratch on
it, on the side, which seems strange because this clearing certainly can’t give
any protection from the elements . . . Well, assuming there are normal weather
patterns here, that is.
I squeeze Hombre’s
hand, only realizing after the squeeze that I’m still gripping it. Though I
drop it quickly, he doesn’t seem to notice. I frown, staring at him openly, but
he’s oblivious, his eyes darting around, wide and curious, and his lips moving as
he whispers some silent words of admiration. He seems to be more awed by this
place than I am, but in a different way. He takes in the scenery like a
scholar, not a newborn. I narrow my eyes, considering him. I don’t think he’s
been here before, but he also seems too comfortable with the change.
I look back at the
stone as some movement catches my eye. Colors dance across its face, swirling
into little clumps before bounding away again, staying within the confines of
the stone. They seem to be forming human figures . . . Alyssa and Beth?
Hombre finally
seems to remember I’m there, asking, “Why the hell did you jump in?”
I look back at him
and grimace, not sure I want to admit the influence of a childish fantasy. I
deflect, “Why didn’t you want me to?”
He gives me an
incredulous look, “I can’t believe this. I would’ve expected Beth to jump in,
but not you.” He shakes his head, and his eyebrows twist together. He turns
away, as if he doesn’t want me to see his face as he says, “I thought you were
going to die. I’m still not sure why you didn’t.” Something seems to occur to
him, and he looks down at my bracelet, a frown forming on his face.
I stare at him,
pulling the bracelet up to my chest protectively, remembering how much he’d
wanted it before. My confusion leaks into my voice, and I squeak a little as I
say, “I could’ve died?” I clear my throat, my cheeks flushing, “Why wouldn’t
you tell me that?”
He smiles a bit,
“Well, if I’d known that would’ve stopped you . . . Then again, as I said, I
didn’t expect you to jump in. You usually think before you do things.” He looks
back at the stone, sighing, “Suns curse it. Obviously I can’t just make you go
back, now.”
I shake my head as
a thought occurs to me, “Wait, why
did you think we would die? Why would you go through that thing if you did?” My
eyes widen, “Will Beth and Alyssa be alright?”
He avoids my eyes
and my questions, considering the stone behind us, “Oh, right, they followed
us. Great.”
I narrow my eyes, a
little annoyed by his tone, “What do you mean ‘great?’”
He shakes his
head, looking distant as he sighs, “I wish I’d just stolen that bracelet off
you like I originally planned.”
“You were going to
steal it?” I look at him, confused, and pull it even closer to my chest. Where
has he taken us? Why does he want my bracelet?
He blinks, as if
he hadn’t realized he’d voiced his thoughts. His eyes dart back to me and his
eyebrows knit together as he sees how worried I am, “I’m not going to steal it
from you, now. Calm down. I haven’t turned into some evil monster. It just
seemed easy to steal it before I knew you, and then . . . well, I saw you and,
I dunno . . .” he trails off, clearly unsure how to finish the sentence.
“You were going to
take it a minute ago,” I shoot back.
“I was trying to
convince you to give it to me, remember? I wouldn’t have just taken it. I
thought . . . I thought maybe if you saw that I needed it you’d just give it to
me.”
I consider him, “You
thought I’d get dazzled by the pretty colors, didn’t you?”
He sighs, “Okay,
well, yes. I was hoping that’d help. The point is, you don’t have to worry, I’m
not going to take your bracelet now. Maybe . . . maybe I couldn’t have,
anyways, since you were the only one who could see that door.” He shakes his
head, “It doesn’t matter. Listen, Carmen, I need you to stay with me, alright?
It’s the only way I can protect you.”
“Protect me? What
do you mean, protect me? God damn it, Darien, maybe if you’d just, you know,
said something about this place being dangerous or about me possibly dying or,
just, something, maybe I wouldn’t
have gone in.” I let out a grunt of frustration, both at him and at the fact
that I’m not even sure that’s true.
He raises an
eyebrow, “You honestly didn’t think that portal might lead somewhere
dangerous?”
I look away,
ashamed. In hindsight I didn’t really think at all, only acted on a hallucination
and a stupid conviction that, somehow, I’d be seeing my mother again. I close
my eyes. Everything stupid I’ve ever done has been because of my parents. I
should know better, by now.
“Hey,” Hombre’s voice
is quiet, gentle, “Are you alright, Carmen?”
I open my eyes and
look at him, noticing the concern on his face. Maybe he’s not as much of a
stranger as I think he is, but I’m not going to look weak in front of him if I
can help it. I sigh, “Fine. I’ll listen to you, alright? But – but I don’t need
your protection. And if I get hurt, I’m not going to stay around.”
He nods, “Fair
enough.” He looks at the stone, where Alyssa and Beth are now almost completely
recognizable, and sighs, “Now I just have to get them to listen. Somehow.”
“Good luck with
that,” I mutter, as the last touches are splashed on. Hombre gestures for us to
step back, and I do so, staring as they materialize out of the stone, both of
them gasping in air.
Beth grabs Alyssa,
bends forward, and mutters, “Oh, thank God.”
Alyssa’s
wide-eyed, staring at the scene in front of her, “What? What is this? I just .
. . I just felt like I died or something. That was awful.” I feel a pang of
guilt.
Beth looks up and gasps,
“Where are we? Oh my God, did we die?
Carmen, I love you, but I didn’t want to die for you. I mean, I’ve never really
wanted to die for anyone, so don’t take it personally, but – ”
Hombre cuts in, “Hey.
Hey. Stop freaking out, Beth. You’re
not dead.”
I resist the urge
to mutter: But she could be.
Beth lets out a
sigh of relief, then glances back at him. She frowns, “Wait, how do you know?”
He smiles,
faintly, “Don’t worry about it. Just trust me, I’m an expert on telling the
difference.”
Beth tilts her
head, trying to make some sense of his answer. I can’t help but stare at him,
too.
Questions are
tumbling out of Alyssa’s mouth, “What is this place? Where are we? And what was
up with that swirling door thing? It started closing as soon as you went
through.” She looks around us at the trees and the tower, her eyes wide as she
examines our surroundings. Her curiosity seeming to be trumping her fear, though
she still says, “Maybe we should’ve just let it.”
Hombre shrugs,
“Maybe you should have.”
I glare at him.
He sighs, waving
his hand at me as if dismissing the notion, “Fine. We’ll focus on the fact that
you didn’t. Stay here, alright? Try not to freak out or scream or anything. We
don’t know what’s in the forest or that tower.”
“What do you mean?” Alyssa presses, but he’s
not listening.
His eyes lose focus,
staring at the forest, and this time there’s no mistaking it. His whole iris is
swirling with color, transitioning from a dark ultramarine to a vivid green,
the color radiating out from the pupil. Flecks of lemon yellow dance around in
the emerald mix and both colors, together, banish the blue. I shiver. What’s
wrong with his eyes? How didn’t I notice before today? I mean, I guess he’s
always wearing sunglasses . . . and it’s usually dark when we hang out at shows
. . .
“Is he alright? I’m
not the only one seeing his eyes freak out, right?” Beth whispers. She’s paler
than normal, and I see her wrap her arms around herself protectively. At least
her question reassures me that I’m not imagining things.
“Are you alright,
Hombre?” I ask.
He nods slightly,
waving his hand impatiently for us to leave him alone.
“Carmen,” Alyssa
asks, in a nervous undertone, her eyes fixed on him, too, “Do you know what’s
going on? Did he tell you anything?”
“No, not really. Though
. . . he said something about how we should’ve died. I don’t know what he meant
by that, but . . .”
Her fingers are
drumming on her arm, an anxious frown stretching across her face as she shifts,
impatient, “Can’t he just give us some answers? What is he doing? Why does he
look like that?”
I’m not sure
what’s going on, but he radiates confidence and ease, like having his eyes
swirl is somehow second nature. Though I’m nervous myself, I try to reassure
her, “It’s alright. He seems like he knows what he’s doing.” My eyes flick to
him, still just standing there, “Whatever that may be.”
Alyssa doesn’t
look convinced. Honestly, I’m not surprised. As long as I’ve known her, she’s always
wanted to have the answer before there’s a question. I mean, before I’d even
heard of the show we were supposed to go to tonight she’d gotten ticket prices,
hotel locations, and a way to get a car. I shift, uncomfortable, thinking now
about how Beth and I convinced her to use Hombre’s car to save some money.
Maybe we should’ve just listened to her and taken a rental.
I tap my lip with
my teeth and then ask, “Why did you guys follow us?”
Beth shrugs, but Alyssa
glares at me. She looks almost offended as she says, “Are you kidding me? We
couldn’t just let you go through that thing alone. And definitely not with just
Darien.” She shakes her head, her eyes fixed on him as she mutters, “I always
knew he was lying about something.”
Beth snorts, “Oh,
come on, you’re just mad because you think he’s cheap.”
Alyssa stares at
her, her face scrunching up a bit in frustration, “What, and he isn’t? You’ve
bought tickets for him so many times, Beth. Now we’re not even going to make it
to the show tonight. That means the ticket you bought him isn’t going to be
used, so you’re out a hundred, right? Has he ever paid you back?”
“I didn’t buy him
a ticket this time, idiot.”
Alyssa’s eyes roll
and she snaps at Beth, “Well, we’re all still down fifty. I’m not rich like
you, so that’s kind of a big deal to me.”
“Stop it,” I
interrupt. “Money kind of seems like the last thing we need to worry about
right now.” Alyssa still looks irritated, so I sigh and offer something to
appease her, “Maybe time stopped back on Earth or something. We don’t know, so
stop worrying about it. As weird as this whole thing is, Hombre did help us out
a lot, too, remember? He’s cleaned for us a number of times, gotten us free
tickets, given us rides . . .” I trail off a bit, realizing that letting him
give us a ride is what got us here.
I don’t think it
matters what I say, though, considering the look on Alyssa’s face. She doesn’t respond,
turning to glare at him moodily. I give Beth a look, trying to tell her not to
push Alyssa’s buttons right now, and she rolls her eyes and shrugs.
“Wait,” Alyssa murmurs,
her eyes widening, “Do you see that? What’s up with the shadows?”
They seem to be
gathering up, drawing together, and as they get closer to Darien they winnow themselves
down – changing into the outlines of people.
Beth grabs onto
me, and all of us stare at something that shouldn’t be real.
Darien stands
still, apparently unaffected. His mouth is moving, his eyes darting around the
shadows, as if having a silent conversation with them. They gather around him,
layering on top of each other until it’s difficult to see him. We all watch in
silence, but I can almost hear the questions burning behind our lips.
We wait. The
shadows stay for what seems to be forever, but they finally begin drifting back
toward where they came from, losing their form as they go. When the clearing returns
to its original state, Hombre’s eyes snap back to their normal color, even
though I notice the blue’s much lighter than before.
“What was that?” Beth asks, her grip tight and
her eyes wide.
“Yeah, really,
though.” Alyssa mutters, her hand going up to fiddle with her eyebrow piercing.
I see her shiver.
I don’t think
Hombre’s even heard the question, saying, “I’ve found us a way out. The people
in there can help us.” He nods toward the gigantic tower and our eyes move to
it.
“Whoa, whoa,
whoa,” Beth says, almost squeaking, “How did I not even notice that? I’m
freaking out here.” She lets go of me, staring at the tower.
I narrow my eyes,
looking at Hombre, and I can’t help the frown which stretches across my lips as
I ask, “How do you even know there’re people in there? Why would they help us?
And what were those things around you just now?”
He considers me,
and then, surprisingly, offers up an answer: “Those were spirits. I can talk to
them and they’ve helped me before, so I trust them. They told me that the next
portal we need to find is in there.”
I don’t even know
how to approach the whole ‘spirits’ thing. Before I can ask anything, Beth
pipes up, “Another portal? Was that what we just went through? Are you taking
us back?”
His answer is
short, “No.”
We all stare at
him.
“Why not?” Beth
asks, her eyes wide.
He sighs, “I don’t
know how. Look, I asked, but they said that getting you back is impossible
right now. Our best bet is just to keep going forward.”
Alyssa’s eyes are darting
around as if she’s trying to find answers in the labyrinthine trees and she asks,
“Is this some type of parallel universe? Was that a wormhole?” She seems to be
grasping for words which can rationalize the experience.
Hombre shakes his
head, looking a little frustrated. He glares at me, as if I should be helping
him, and says, “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, does it? We need to get to the
next artifact. I can tell you what I know later, but we should get moving.”
Alyssa stares at
him, and I see her brimming up with new questions, but I interject first, “Artifact?”
“Your bracelet’s one.
I need to find them.” He shifts, looking away, almost as if I’ve crossed some
personal boundary by asking, “Just . . . don’t worry about it for now.” He
gestures toward the tower again, his voice flat as he says, “Look, there’s a
bridge. Come on, let’s go.” He starts forwards.
“Can’t you give us
some answers?” Alyssa asks, “Please?”
He stops, staring
at her, clearly thrown by the sudden politeness.
“Listen, I just
want to go back,” she says, her voice desperate. Beth reaches for her hand, but
Alyssa pulls it away and crosses her arms. Beth looks a bit affronted, but I
know it’s just how Alyssa works. Whenever she needs to solve a problem, she
needs space. Of course, Beth works the opposite way. If anything goes wrong she
clings to you like saran wrap.
I see Darien
suddenly go rigid, his gaze locked on the edge of the forest. He hisses, “Be
quiet. Get behind the stone.”
He’s a pale I’ve
never seen before. A strange creaking comes from the woods so that not even
Alyssa protests; we all rush to hide, afraid of what may appear on the other
side of the clearing.
